Standing stone, Cumbria

touchstone

touch the stone
the surface is rough
the heart is hard
sunside it’s warm
in shadow it’s cold

push the stone
heavy beyond belief
the base is deep
tip beyond reach
sides are steep
unscaleable

rock
immovable
rock
immutable
knock
the pain away

crush the vainless
squash the pointless
quash the upsurge
block the possibility
of a seed
of a start
of a breath
of a hint
before it begins
to offer a healing
then fail to deliver
a thing

the rock
makes a big impression on me
but I make no impression on it
except the temporary trails
of blood from my temples
and torn finger tips

the sun sets
the same

.

life's gravity

in case
I sink without trace
I want you all to know
I could have been
so much more

the every day
nonsense of living
crowds out any activity
requiring creativity
got to get back to the
hideous cashflow

life's gravity
has me sunk in this chair
facing this screen
losing my hair
needing another cup of tea
to crunch more numbers
out of me

soul's been sold
down a river of tedium
because money flows by
but none sticks
where we need it
no success
no fortune
no luck
oh f**k
just
bin
me

crying

It's difficult to see anything loveable
In this face bloated and stained from crying.
Looking from the inside at the out,
The mirror is a trap leading down into the dark.
Looking from the surface further in,
This heart behaves like a caged cat,
Stretching and straining against the confines
Of a repressive ego, overly hurt.
It's all so stupid. It's time to change.

playing with hope

down to embers

like when you suddenly realise it’s dark or the fire’s down to embers
it took ages to get there really but in your head it was momentary
so now we’re more than likely more than halfway towards our end
we surely should have figured out sometime where that end is
or even why the travelling wears so hard on body, mind and heart
when we’re surrounded by stuff supposed to ease the passage

dig in, dig deep, you’ll find it
open up to the outside world

and soon we’ll have a crisis to sweep all past calamities before it
not earthquake hurricane volcano tsunami no not even a meteor
not fires plague famine pandemic genocide no not even more war
just demand outstripping supply for the commodity propping it all
they pretended the day could never come kept ignoring the inevitable
our entire western economy will crumble with the drying up of oil

dig down, dig deep, maybe you’ll find more
or you can just close down the western world

get going then!

so much I’m holding back
it screams
the terror and the tormented
crouching growling within my slumped form
the roar of time wasted
the shriek of life passing
all the stomped down potentials
all the creations now just whisps of wind
no art
all fucking fart